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by Stephen Wallace, M.S. Ed., and Ben Seifer
Ben was the boy in the boat. A gregarious go-getter whose journey through
camp — and to adulthood — was inextricably linked to sailboats
on the water. The lessons he learned at camp originated from, or were
reinforced by, the challenges he faced as a skipper, navigating uncertain
and constantly shifting conditions having to do with wind, tide, crew,
and competition. Lessons about self-reliance, self-confidence, exploration,
respect, and responsibility — all important metrics of a successful
summer camp experience and harbingers of what follows.
That those very life lessons intrinsic in the summer camp experience
relate directly to self-definition makes them all the more meaningful
in the grander landscape of personal growth and the march toward adulthood.
Forging Identity at Summer Camp
Suddenly equipped to think abstractly
(or to think about thinking, to put it another
way), young teens begin to grapple with the question "Who
am I?" and, just as important, "Who
do I want to be?" As with many questions, these are easier asked
than answered. Nevertheless, one thing is clear: camp provides many
opportunities for young people to "try out" different roles
and relationships — important steps on the way to recognizing
whom they are and to becoming what they can be.
Among the most critical
of these relationships are the ones they have with
their counselors. Close enough in age to "relate," yet old enough to be looked
up to by kids as mentors and critical commentators on the choices they
make and the paths they take, counselors provide an important feedback
loop in the developmental dance. To paraphrase psychologist Erik Erikson,
to experience wholeness, young people must feel continuity between how
they think of themselves and how they believe others think of them.
It is really this commonality and consistency of self-image that helps
teens figure out their identity.
Perhaps more to the point, counselors
serve as role models, helping teens to pick and
choose qualities they wish to incorporate into their own developing
identities. Awareness of this process dates all the way back to Sigmund
Freud, who maintained that identity attainment results from a process
by which an individual incorporates the characteristics of another person.
He said that identification is "invariably based on an emotional tie with an object (Erickson
1968)," often a parent. It's likely that Freud would count "summer
parents" as well.
Finally, the identity is reaffirmed by finding,
or more likely realizing, that a particular environment
fits! In the words of psychologist William James, as quoted by Erickson, "At
such moments there is a voice inside which speaks and says: ‘This
is the real me! (Erickson 1968)'" Or, as Lauren, 17, puts
it, "The camp environment, including my camp friends, defines
who I am."
The Boy in the Boat
Ben first came to camp in the summer
of 2000, immediately establishing himself as an
active, popular member of our community. He engaged
in an impressive array of activities, was (reportedly)
always well-behaved, and — even at his young age — was
already pegged as a leader.
Ben's search for meaning and manhood
played out before my eyes as I witnessed firsthand
his evolution from the nine-yearold his counselor
described as "cool" to
the seventeen-year-old who received our camp's
highest honor on what may very well have been his final night of
childhood. Indeed, it was at camp that Ben found
what he would later describe as the preparation
to live independently and the ability to build
close relationships. He also grew to appreciate
the value of a community where people care about
one another.
There is no question that Ben's
identity, independence, and quality of character — partially
forged at camp — aid him in his quest to be a highly successful
and contributing member of his community and broader
society.
And his counselors helped make it so.
Perspectives on Five Metrics of Success
Self-Reliance
SW: Developmental dictates during adolescence steer
young people away from dependence on their parents
and toward independence and self-reliance. In psychological
terms, it's called developing an "internal" as
opposed to "external" locus of control — meaning that
what formerly was other-directed ("Do this"; "Don't do that") is now
self-directed ("I should do this" and "I shouldn't do that").
Shorn of long-established support systems, kids
at camp must identify the resources that can help
them meet personal and group goals, resolve conflicts,
and find success.
Tip: Counselors help young people
become self-reliant by encouraging them to make
positive choices, solve problems, and accept responsibility
for personal behavior.
BS: When my parents' SUV
moved out of sight, I was for the first time in
my nine years of life on my own. It didn't hit
me right away that the next morning my mom wouldn't
be there to wake me up, my dad to help me sail,
or even that I wouldn't come home at the end of the day to find my bed
nicely made. My camp counselors introduced me to something new: adults
who would show me the way but not hold my hand
the entire time.
During my first summer at camp,
I did a lot of active learning. I would always
try something the first time and if I couldn't
figure it out on my own, my counselors would be
there for guidance. The level of involvement a counselor should have
with a camper is difficult to determine, as it surely differs from camper
to camper. The most important thing is that counselors find the
balance between guidance and "handholding." If
counselors provide just basic guidance, a child
may not learn a new skill or understand a new concept.
On the flip side, if a counselor is too involved,
the camper will inadvertently learn to depend on
him or her for everything. Yes, a counselor's
main duty is to serve as a support and help promote
a camper's
growth, but too much direction can result in a
backtracking effect.
Self-Confidence
SW: For campers,
becoming self-reliant is predicated on having the
self-confidence to succeed educationally and socially.
In turn, self-confidence is born of a positive
sense of oneself. Self-esteem is formed primarily
in two ways: the experiences one has (and one's
evaluation of those experiences) and how closely
one's achievements match one's expectations.
Campers gain self-confidence when they find meaningful,
fulfilling educational and social experiences at
camp, interpret those experiences correctly, and
have reasonable, achievable expectations for success.
Tip:
Counselors help young people become self-confident
by helping them to establish realistic goals for achievement and to
feel accepted, successful, and influential.
BS: At my summer camp of
nine years, the entire camp would gather in the
morning six days a week for an assembly. Among other things,
awards earned in activities were handed out.
The department head of the activity would stand
onstage and read out the names of those campers who had achieved a certain
level of success. Although many awards were handed out each day, each
camper had his or her name read aloud and walked onstage to the sound
of applause. In retrospect, I realized this simple act served a much
greater purpose than just handing out certificates. Publicly recognizing
a camper for his or her accomplishments builds self-confidence. At a
general activities camp, perhaps unlike a sports or arts camp, it is
not essential for campers to become the best at whatever they choose
to do, but it is essential that they feel they've accomplished something.
One way camps — and counselors — foster
this feeling is by recognizing all campers for
what they do.
This society has become a very competitive
one. Part of the beauty of camp and camp activities
is that progress is not how you match up to a fellow
camper. When camp staff set skill levels for kids
to work toward, campers can see their progress
and continue to build self-confidence. This newfound
confidence is not only applied to the activity
in which the campers are excelling but also to the camp experience as
a whole. And that will likely be apparent when they return home.
Exploration
SW: Camp is, in short, about learning: learning
about oneself, learning about others, and learning about new ways to
approach the world. Self-confidence leads to learning through exploration
of one's interests, abilities, and relationships. To maximize exploration,
young people need to feel safe — free
from fear of ridicule, sarcasm, or insult. Creating
a community of caring where young people feel comfortable
moving beyond their "comfort
zone" to the "challenge
zone" promotes exploration.
Tip: Counselors can
help young people explore by encouraging them to
embrace opportunities to try new things, meet new
people, and accept failure as part of growth.
BS: My counselors were
always pushing me. Pushing me during unit games,
pushing me in the cabin towards new activities,
pushing me to be a better sailor, and pushing me
towards girls at dances. Looking back on it all,
I realize that not all of my counselors knew what was best for me, but
in their own ways they encouraged me to step outside of my comfort zone
and take a risk. As children begin to grow up and move into adolescence,
they experience a similar push from their peers. Outside pressure can
have both negative and positive effects. But the biggest difference
between the encouragement of a counselor and that of a peer is what
occurs after the risk is taken. If one of my peers saw me, say at age
ten, ask a girl to dance and get rejected, he would probably make fun
of me. Even though his jokes wouldn't be ill intended, they would make
me think twice before getting the courage to ask another girl to a dance.
A counselor, on the other hand, needs to be able to congratulate his
or her campers when the risks turn out successful but also support them
if they fail.
Over the summer a counselor will undoubtedly become friends
with the campers, but it is important to remember
that you are still an adult figure in the campers' lives and your actions
are taken more to heart than those of their peers.
For the most part,
my counselors supported me no matter the outcome.
I developed a trust with them and in turn with the entire camp
community. Whether I was on the water, on a field,
or in my cabin, I always had this feeling that
my counselors and the camp would always "have my
back."
Respect
SW: A necessary component of identity
formation in adolescence is recognizing not only
one's uniqueness relative to others, but also one's similarities — and
how one fits into the larger whole of a social system, be it
family, camp, school, community, or society at
large. Fitting in well means developing, and sustaining,
a genuine respect for oneself, for others, and
for the basic tenets, or rules, that govern conduct: those that are
self-imposed and ones that are generated by others — in
this case the institution of camp.
Tip: Counselors
can help young people develop respect by noting
the assets each young person brings to the camp
community, building trust among campers and staff,
and demonstrating an understanding of and appreciation for camp rules.
BS: Having been both a camper and an assistant counselor, I have come
to respect my counselors and gain the respect of
my campers. During this past summer, I experienced both. I had a counselor
who was well liked, talented, funny, helpful, and fair. He naturally
commanded — and
deserved — all
the respect he received. What was most apparent
was that he didn't
consciously make an effort to be, well, the man;
he just was.
As an assistant counselor, I tried
to emulate some of my previous counselors. I did
the things that I remembered as cool or something
that I had looked up to. I soon realized that by
going beyond merely watching your campers and instead becoming a part
of their lives, you gain their respect. It's also important to remember
that kids are used to being the center of attention among adults who
surround them at home, especially their parents. At camp, it's different.
Now they are just one of a number of kids counselors must tend to and
are responsible for. One of the things that make being a counselor so
exciting — and
at times so difficult — is realizing
no two campers are the same. It's important to
recognize what each camper brings to the cabin,
the group, and the camp. This distinction helps campers set a sturdier
base for themselves in the camp community.
The same concept applies
to camp activities. In sailing, for example, I
always feel comfortable being the skipper, even in rough weather. When
fellow counselors gave the tiller to me during these situations, it
made me feel needed — and
respected.
Responsibility
SW: Beyond the buddies, baseballs, and bonfires
lies the true value of the summer camp experience:
a heightened sense of personal responsibility for the well-being
of others. That "other orientation" manifests itself
in many ways, including a strong sense of connectedness and a commitment
to give of oneself. Indeed, Teens Today research from SADD (Students
Against Destructive Decisions) points out that young people who have
attended summer camp are significantly more likely than those who have
not to feel good about their relationships and to take positive risks,
such as volunteering for community service.
Tip: Counselors can help
young people become responsible and contributing
members of the community by modeling true friendship
(in words and in deeds) and the principle of service to others.
BS:
I met some of the greatest people in the world
at camp. In fact, I made such real friendships that the time I spent
at camp each summer was enough to make me feel good the entire year.
Like many campers, I have made friends with people from all over the
country, and I intend to stay close with them for a long, long time.
When you think about it, camp is the perfect place to make strong friendships
. . . there's no stress, everyone's in a good mood, and you spend your
days doing things you like, such as sailing in my case.
The way my counselors
acted toward their campers and fellow counselors
impacted the way I viewed friendship. The counselors worked well with
one another, so I worked well with my bunkmates. The counselors joked
around, so I joked around. The list goes on, but my point is that my
counselors helped teach me about "being there" for your friends. I have
yet to feel a stronger sense of brotherhood than I did at camp. There
was just this imprinted feeling I had that I needed to support my cabin
mates in anything and everything. That's one of many lifelong things I learned at camp:
a conscious responsibility to always be there for my friends and for
others. Away from camp, I have volunteered as a peer leader, facilitating
discussions about alcohol and drug use with middle and high
school students and their parents, and I have joined
fellow athletes in performing community service.
Life Lessons Learned
at Camp
The benefits to young people of a summer
at camp have long been discussed and more recently
evaluated. What are they? Simply put, they are
opportunities. Opportunities not exclusive to camps
but rather concentrated at camp, where under the direction, supervision,
and influence of caring counselors, young adults can learn to become
more independent, more confident, more self-aware, and more giving toward
others. Their identities emerge, solidify, and are reinforced by recognition
of their character and contributions.
In defining
character and contributions, pediatrician and author
Eli Newberger talks about environments that stress ability, responsibility,
and the values of honesty, hard work, and positive action to benefit
others. Such is the environment of summer camp. And thus is the importance
of those who work there.
References
Erikson, E. (1968). Identity: Youth and Crisis.
Norton. New York, New York.
Newberger, E. H. (1999). The Men They Will
Become: The Nature and Nurture of Male Character. Da Capo; Perseus Books
Group. Cambridge, Massachusetts.
Wallace, S. (2008). Reality Gap. Union
Square Press; Sterling Publishing. New York, New York.
Originally published in the 2009 May/June
issue of Camping Magazine.
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