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by Bob Ditter
Dear Bob,
Every summer, we have new staff who come to camp somewhat naive about
the demands
of being a counselor. No matter what we tell them about the long hours and
the demands of working with campers, we feel like we haven't quite prepared
them for the summer ahead. Do you have any advice or thoughts that we could
share that might help counselors realize the awesome responsibility and opportunity
they have working with our young people?
-
Wondering in Wisconsin
Dear Wondering,
Nothing replaces experience as a teacher. I suspect
many camp directors feel like you do, that no matter how well they have
prepared their staff they could have used one more day! And despite your
training efforts, there will always be some counselors who will say, "They
never told me it would be like this!" That having been said, there
are some thoughts
I can share with staff.
Becoming a Memorable Counselor
As a staff person, think back to when you
were younger. You probably knew adults - teachers,
relatives, coaches, scout leaders, etc. - around
whom you felt safe, nurtured, encouraged, or basically
cared for. You probably also knew adults around whom
you and your friends felt unsafe - adults who were
critical, unpredictable, moody, or just made you
feel wary, ashamed, or like you were a burden. Your
campers can tell just from being with you and sensing
how accepting and genuinely happy you are to be with
them which category of adult you fall into.
Having spoken to thousands of campers over the
years, I know that what leaves a positive impression on them are counselors
who sincerely enjoy spending time with them, listen to them, and play
with them. Campers also said that staff members who keep things emotionally
safe and teach them something new or who lead them to be more successful
are particularly memorable. That something new can be anything from how
to make a new friend, to how to hold a lacrosse stick or put the right
spin on a basketball, to how to use a new tool or how to overcome a fear
of trying new things.
Notice that nowhere in this list do you find
campers who say their favorite counselors are ones who let them do whatever
they want. Though campers will often pressure you to let them do what
they like, counselors who cave into this pressure are not only not memorable
but may be compromising the physical and emotional sense of safety among
campers. It is ironic that campers often ask to do the very things that
later make them feel unsafe or out of control. One of the hardest things
to remember when you are surrounded by children all summer is that you
are the adult and that it is your sound judgment that often means the
difference between a safe activity and one where a child gets seriously
hurt - physically or emotionally.
Getting to Know Campers
Let me also share a few survival tips. Children
who are strangers to one another need time to become
comfortable before they can truly get along, cooperate,
and perform at a high level. The time you take to
get to know your charges and help them get to know
one another will pay later when you are trying to
guide them through clean-up or some other cooperative
activity. Likewise, campers who know each other very
well, either from past summers or from home, may
need new challenges to grow beyond old loyalties
and cliques.
One particular caution has to do with working
with teens who know each other well from past years. If you are new to
camp and the teens are long-time veterans, you will find that they will
ignore you at first while they reconnect with one another. Do not force
yourself on them early in the session. Give them a chance to renew their
friendships. After perhaps a day, once they have reconstituted themselves
as a group, they will turn their attention to you. That is when you can
begin the process of getting to know them and letting them know you.
(Teens, by the way, are usually not shy about asking questions. Just
remember that you do not - in fact, should not - share all the intimate
details of your private life with them. Win them over through your interest
in them and your willingness to enter their worlds.) The patience you
exhibit with teens will pay off. Forcing yourself on teens, especially
as a female counselor working with teen girls, will only backfire.
You Are the Adult, So
Keep Your Cool
Remember that as a counselor, there is a double
standard when working with campers. If a camper uses
rude or inappropriate language with you or engages
in hostile behavior, you cannot react in kind. You
are the adult. Losing your cool or yelling may make
you feel better momentarily, but campers will come
to resent you or respect you less for it. Besides,
yelling will not accomplish your long-term objectives.
With older campers, state your expectations clearly
("Guys, it's clean-up time and we all know what our jobs are, so
let's go!); stay out of the battles or traps they may set for you ("Awe,
come on! We're tired! Can't we skip clean-up this morning?"); and
restate your expectations and then detach. Detach means to not
take things personally and get into a power struggle with your campers.
Remember, any consequences of misbehavior on their part are theirs,
not yours!
Use games, countdowns, contests, songs, or group
challenges to engage younger campers. The more fun you put into the summer,
the more you and your campers will get out of it, and the more enjoyable
your job will be as a caretaker of children. One wonderful advantage
of camp over most other settings working with children is the tremendous
variety of activities at your disposal with which to engage campers.
Your impact will be most felt out on the ropes course, down by the waterfront,
out on the climbing tower, or working in groups on a craft project. This
is where you will help children learn all those little lessons of life,
like learning how to wait, how to help out, and how to overcome a fear
or support one another. This, indeed, is where camp gives kids a world
of good.
Originally published in the 2000 May/June of Camping
Magazine.
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