With so much loss in the world — whether from illness, violence, natural disasters, or personal tragedies — there’s a growing likelihood that your camp will welcome at least one grieving child next summer. For many kids, camp is a place of belonging, identity building, and joy. But for grieving children, it can also be a place where the absence of a loved one is felt more sharply.

As a camp director, you don’t need to be a grief expert to help. You just need to be present, informed, and ready to lead your staff in creating a compassionate, responsive environment. This guide, grounded in the work of Experience Camps — a national nonprofit that runs free grief camps for children — offers practical steps to support grieving campers, foster inclusion, and create a space where kids feel true belonging and safe to be their full selves.

Before Camp Starts

Find out ahead of camp which campers are grieving.

You’re not necessarily going to know if there’s a kid who’s grieving by “sensing it,” because a lot of kids will do their best to hide it. So, it’s important to train your staff to recognize both verbal and nonverbal signs of grief and to understand that grieving campers may express themselves through a wide range of behaviors. These may include withdrawal, anger, perfectionism, regression, or seeming “overly mature.”

We’d also suggest reaching out to caregivers before camp. This can be a matter of including a questionnaire for caregivers of campers who’ve experienced a recent death. (Or it can go out to all of the caregivers if you don’t know.) One way to broach the conversation is to ask about any major changes or challenges the camper has experienced over the past year. Ask about:

• Who died and when
• How the camper has been coping (emotionally, behaviorally, socially)
• Any sensitive dates that may fall during camp (birthdays, anniversaries)
• What has helped the child in other environments (school, sports, therapy)

Caregivers are generally very receptive to the connection. It provides an opportunity to share with the camp staff information about the death, how the camper has been coping, and what has been most supportive for the camper. It also gives the caregiver a space to talk about how the death has impacted their family and other losses they may have experienced after the death happened.

Create an Individual Support Plan for Each Grieving Child

Once you have received the completed questionnaire for a bereaved camper, create a simple plan outlining how staff will support this child, and share it with counselors, the head nurse / medical staff, and any other relevant positions. Include how the camper prefers to talk about the death (or not talk about it), any known triggers, and strategies that help soothe them. Remember, grief looks different for every kid, so don’t lump them all together as the “grievers.”

Here are some strategies to get you started.

Acknowledge the Loss Privately

For some kids, camp may be the first place where someone outside the family acknowledges their loss. Saying, “Jalen, I heard your dad died. I just wanted you to know I’m here if you ever want to talk,” can mean the world. Always do this privately. Many grieving children fear being seen as weird or different, and the last thing they want is for a counselor to point it out in front of the whole bunk, who will now treat them differently. Acknowledging the loss privately communicates to the camper that you are going to follow their lead and be supportive as they navigate camp.

Model Empathy, Not Expertise

Your staff does not need the perfect words — and there aren’t any. Avoid statements that minimize or explain away the grief (“At least she lived a long life,” “He wouldn’t want you to be sad at camp,” or “I’ve been through grief, too, so I know how you feel.”). Instead, they should try:

• “That sounds really hard.”
• “Thanks for sharing that with me.”
• “I’m here for you if you want to talk.”

Every griever is different. Some kids talk a lot about the person who died. Others won’t bring it up at all. Let them take the lead. Don’t push for disclosure or expect certain stages of grief. Even children in the same family grieve in different ways.

Check in more than once. Some campers won’t open up in the first few days. They may need to feel safe first — or they’re simply not ready yet. Let them know you’re paying attention by checking in again later. If a camper returns year after year, remember that grief evolves. What they needed last summer may not be what they need now.

What can a director or counselor say to show empathy?

It can be tempting to try to help the camper stop feeling sad by trying to cheer them up, but doing so just adds a level of pressure for the child to appear a certain way to make others more comfortable. So instead of trying to fix the sadness or explain it away, here is what a staff member might say if they notice the camper seems sad or withdrawn:

“Hey, I noticed you’ve been pretty quiet today. That’s totally OK; I just wanted to check in. I’m here if you ever want to talk or just hang out.”

If the camper does share something, you can respond with, “That sounds really tough. Thanks for trusting me with that.”

If a camper opens up and then shuts down later, you can gently remind them, “I’m still here for you, even if you’re not up for talking today.”

These responses communicate several powerful messages to the camper without having to voice them directly:

• You are seen and valued. By noticing and gently checking in, you communicate: “I see you. You matter to me, even when you’re quiet or struggling.” This is especially important for grieving kids who may feel invisible, misunderstood, or burdensome.
• Your feelings are valid. Saying things like “That sounds really tough” instead of minimizing statements like “At least . . . ” tells the camper: “Whatever you’re feeling is OK. You don’t have to pretend around me.” It honors their experience without judgment or comparison.
• You’re in control of your story. Letting the camper lead the conversation (or stay silent) communicates “You don’t have to share before you’re ready. I won’t push you.” This gives them a sense of agency in a situation (grief) that often feels uncontrollable.
• I’m here. Checking in again — even if the camper doesn’t open up right away — shows them you aren’t going anywhere: “You’re not a one-time conversation to me.” It builds trust and shows consistency, which grieving children deeply need.
• You don’t have to do this alone. By simply offering presence, you convey “You’re not alone in this. I’m with you.” This can be a lifeline for kids who may feel isolated in their grief.

Create Spaces and Strategies for When Grieving Kids Need a Break

Grieving kids may not always want to talk, but offering creative or symbolic outlets can be important. If a counselor notices a camper who is grieving, sitting off to the side at arts and crafts or kickball and looking sad, they might consider asking the child if they want to:

• Share what’s going on in their mind, and you can just listen
• Take a walk together (as long as there’s a co-counselor who can take over)
• Do a quiet activity together, maybe some artwork

These spaces should be opt-in, with no pressure. Some kids will sit and draw. Others might pour out a story. The point is to offer the tools and the time.

Navigating Grief at Camp

Camp staff must learn to recognize grief behavior and respond with compassion.

Let staff know that grief isn’t always obvious. Grieving campers can laugh, make friends, try new things, and still be grieving. Just because they’re enjoying the talent show doesn’t mean they aren’t also carrying pain. Grief can look like:

• Mood swings or irritability
• Big emotional reactions to small disappointments
• Silence or clinginess to a counselor
• Avoidance of certain topics or people

How Should Staff Handle It?

First, they can set clear, loving boundaries. Grieving campers, like all children, still need limits and structure. In fact, consistency and clear expectations can help them feel safe. So, counselors should resist the temptation to “let a kid off the hook” if they’re acting out. Instead, encourage enforcing rules with compassion. They can say something like, “It’s OK to feel upset, but it’s not OK to hurt someone. Let’s figure out another way.”

Have a support plan for escalation. Even your most seasoned counselors may need help supporting a grieving camper sometime during the summer. Let them know they can and should loop in a mental health professional if a camper is withdrawn for long periods, having panic attacks, or expressing hopelessness or self-harm. That’s when they’d be expected to bring in licensed staff or request that a director contact caregivers. Be sure counselors know your camp’s protocol.

Support your staff too. Working with grieving kids can bring up your own feelings. Encourage staff to debrief with peers or supervisors, take short breaks when needed, and access grief resources for themselves if something gets stirred up. A simple daily check-in meeting for staff can go a long way to promoting emotional wellness.

For Additional Information You will find additional, free grief resources at experiencecamps.org/grief-resources.

After Camp

Grieving doesn’t end when camp does — and families often need help knowing where to turn. Sometimes the support campers receive at camp is the most they’ve gotten all year. A follow-up email or letter can be extremely meaningful. Whether it’s from the director or counselor (with permission from the director), a note can say, “It was great to have you at camp. We’re thinking of you.”

It may be helpful to also point families toward resources if they’re interested. You can provide links to local grief centers, national organizations like Experience Camps, and our free digital platform for grieving teens called GRIEF SUCKS (griefsucks.com).

Grief is not a problem to fix. It’s a part of your campers’ lives that deserves space, respect, and gentle support. You don’t have to be a therapist to make a lasting difference. Just by showing up, listening well, and creating a camp culture that welcomes all experiences, you’re giving grieving kids something they can carry with them long after summer ends: a sense that they are not alone, not broken, and still fully part of the world around them.

Photo courtesy of Metrowest YMCA Hopkinton Outdoor Center, Hopkinton, MA.

Brie Overton, PhD, FT, LPC-S, NCC, is a chief clinical officer at Experience Camps. She is a Licensed Professional Counselor and specializes in anticipatory loss, grief and bereavement, life transitions, and working with underserved populations. She is a board member of the Association for Death Education and Counseling and National Alliance for Grieving Children and has worked as a clinician and clinical director for Experience Camps since 2016.