"When you go out into the woods and you look at trees . . . you appreciate the tree. The minute you get near humans, you lose all that . . . That judgment mind comes in. And so I practice turning people into trees. Which means appreciating them the way they are."

— Ram Dass

At camp, we are surrounded by trees that are twisting, straight, scarred, new, ancient. What would it mean to see the people in our programs the same way? Not as puzzles to figure out or identities to decode, but as individuals to appreciate?

That’s what belonging is.

Who Gets to Show Up Fully?

For both campers and staff, the first days of camp can feel like a question: Will I be safe here? Will I be known here? Belonging begins when we start to answer yes with our actions, our words, and our culture. But not everyone hears the same invitation.

A counselor holds back parts of their personality or culture because they’re unsure how it will be received. A staff member hides their pronouns. A camper hesitates before raising their hand. These aren’t dramatic moments; they’re daily decisions to shrink, shift, or hide. Each one asks quietly: Is it safe to be me here?

What does it mean to create camp communities where belonging is felt at every level, from campers to counselors, from kitchen crew to directors, where fitting in isn’t the goal but belonging is?

Belonging vs. Fitting in

Terrel L. Strayhorn, American professor and scholar, said, “Belonging is not a luxury or perk of the privileged few, it is a fundamental need that all individuals deserve” (Hudson, 2023).

We often confuse fitting in — the art of adapting to be accepted — with belonging, the experience of being embraced as you are. Fitting in asks, “What do I need to hide to be liked?” Belonging asks, “What can I bring forward and still be loved?”

If you grew up watching the ABC series Family Matters, you will remember Steve Urkel. Brilliant, awkward, high-waisted suspenders, nasal voice, and unapologetically himself. Except when he wasn’t. At some point in the series, Urkel creates an alter ego: Stefan Urquelle. Smooth, suave, and socially acceptable. Gone are the snorts and the stumbles. And suddenly he gets the girl. Gets invited. Fits in. But Urquelle wasn’t Urkel. He was a mask. And over time, it became clear that Urkel had to leave parts of himself behind to be liked.

That’s what covering feels like.

Sociologist Erving Goffman (1963) introduced the idea of a “spoiled identity,” referring to the stigma that arises when a part of who we are is seen as less acceptable in a given space. In response, people often manage or downplay those parts of themselves to avoid judgment or rejection. Legal scholar Kenji Yoshino later named this practice “covering,” meaning the subtle ways we soften or edit aspects of our identity to avoid exclusion (Yoshino, 2006).

Covering isn’t always about hiding. It’s often about adapting and reshaping ourselves just enough to stay safe when full belonging feels risky or out of reach.

Campers do it. Staff do it. For example:

• A teen chooses not to talk about their family because it “doesn’t match” the others.
• A trans-identifying individual on staff dresses more androgynously because they’re not sure how pronouns will land.
• A Muslim child skips prayers because there’s no obvious space for it.
• A counselor laughs at jokes that sting just to stay liked.

Belonging is different. It means being accepted not in spite of who you are but because of it. It’s what happens when you don’t have to fragment yourself to be part of the whole. And at camp, that matters. Because when we build a culture of belonging, people don’t have to become Urquelle to feel safe. They get to be Urkel and bring all of themselves (or as much as they choose) to the campfire.

Five Research-informed Strategies for Building Belonging at Camp

So how do we move from ideas to impact? Here are five ways camp leaders, counselors, and other staff can create a culture where everyone feels seen, supported, and ready to thrive. Belonging isn’t just a value; it’s something we practice. It shows up (or it slips away) in small, everyday moments. The good news? Every choice we make is a chance to build it.

The tips that follow aren’t quick fixes. They’re invitations to live our values through presence, attention, and care.

1. Start With Yourself: Model What’s Safe to Share

Belonging starts with presence, not perfection. When camp directors or staff take a moment to name something real about who they are or what they’ve learned, it sends a signal: “You don’t have to leave parts of yourself behind to lead here.”

This isn’t about sharing everything. It’s about making space for others to bring their fully engaged selves — whatever version of themselves feels safe, grounded, and true in the moment. That might look like sharing a story about how you once felt out of place. Admitting a mistake you learned from. Noticing how your perspective has changed. Modeling isn’t about being the most open person in the room. It’s about setting a tone of safety, so people know they have permission to be real.

Ask yourself: What are you quietly signaling to others about what’s safe to say, feel, or be in this space?

Ways to make it real:

• For leaders — Let people see your learning and imperfections. Your honesty gives others room to grow without fear.
• For counselors and other staff — Use team time to offer glimpses of your story. It builds trust faster than icebreakers ever could.
• For campers — Normalize different ways of sharing. For example, have campers draw, create a song, shout it out, or hold it in quietly. Show them that quirks aren’t just tolerated, they’re treasured. Belonging doesn’t mean everyone has to speak; it means everyone shares in the way that is comfortable for them.

Fully Engaged Self vs. Authentic Self

You might notice the use of the term fully engaged self instead of authentic self. That’s intentional.

Authenticity is often misunderstood as “tell everything” or “be vulnerable all the time.” But not everyone wants (or should have) to share every part of themselves in every space. And in some environments, doing so can carry real risks.

Fully engaged, on the other hand, asks a different question: “What version of myself feels safe, supported, and meaningful to bring forward right here, right now?” It’s about agency. About choosing how to show up, not being pressured to bear all or bring your whole self on someone else’s terms.

At camp, we want both staff and campers to feel free, not forced, to share what matters to them. And we want our culture to say, “Whatever you choose to bring, it’s enough. You’re welcome here.”

2. Shift the Default to Invitation

People shouldn’t have to wait for permission to be real. Belonging deepens when we create space for stories to show up through genuine welcome rather than pressure. That means asking names (and how to say them), inviting access needs, honoring faith or cultural practices, and creating room for people to share what helps them feel most like themselves. Invitation doesn’t require a policy. It requires presence. Whether you’re guiding campers or mentoring new staff, how you show up shapes what others believe is possible. When invitation becomes the default, people don’t have to wonder if their full selves are welcome. They already know.

Ask yourself: Are we waiting for people to bring things up, or are we actively making space for them to be seen?

Ways to make it real:

• For leaders — At your next staff meeting, ask, “What’s something about your identity, culture, or background you’d want respected this summer?” Normalizing sharing is always a choice, not a requirement.
• For counselors and other staff — Start early. Instead of rushing through introductions, slow down and show interest. Asking how someone likes to be introduced can go a long way.
• For campers — Invite kids to share something from their world, family food, holiday traditions, or what helps them feel most at home. Keep it lighthearted and low pressure.

3. Audit Your Culture, Not Just Your Calendar

It’s easy to measure inclusion by what we add: a new theme day, a sensory-friendly zone, a heritage potluck. These are good starts, but they don’t tell the whole story. The deeper work is asking what we’ve kept and why. Culture isn’t just built from what we celebrate out loud. It’s shaped by what we carry forward without question. Sometimes, what we call tradition is just repetition that’s gone unchallenged — a song, a skit, a nickname, an activity that never worked for all body types, but we kept it because it “worked for us.” Even the gear we use tells a story about who was expected. I have locs, and I’ve learned how often something as simple as a safety helmet at camp isn’t built with my hair type in mind. That’s not just an inconvenience. It’s a reminder that someone like me wasn’t imagined when the equipment was purchased.

It’s not just about hair. A schedule change announced loudly in the dining hall might be exciting for some and completely overwhelming for a neurodiverse camper. A surprise activity could feel like chaos to someone who regulates best with a structured schedule or clear transitions. When we plan for “most campers” without asking who’s being left out, we’re not honoring tradition; we’re upholding a narrow default.

Auditing culture means checking who’s centered, who’s missing, and what assumptions are baked into the daily rhythm of camp. It means asking not just, “Is this fun?” but “Is this fair? Is this all of ours to carry forward?”

Ask yourself: What parts of camp make people feel celebrated? What parts make them feel like guests in someone else’s story?

Ways to make it real:

• For leaders — Examine what your camp has inherited. Not everything old is sacred. If a tradition can’t hold up to your current camp mission, vision, and values, it’s time to evolve it or let it go.
• For counselors and other staff — If something doesn’t feel right, speak up. “Why do we still do this?” is a brave and important question.
• For campers — Build a culture of “challenge by choice” where kids are encouraged to explore, question, and participate but never forced to trade safety for belonging.

Tools like Lily Zheng’s FAIR Framework (lilyzheng.co/fair-framework) offer a way to reflect on whether your inclusion efforts are fair, actionable, and producing results for the people they’re meant to serve (Zheng, n.d.).

4. Build Micro Connections That See the Person

We often hear that camp is all about relationships. But what does that really look like? True belonging comes from moments that say, “I see you, and I value who you are. Not just who you are as part of the group, but who you are in all the meaningful ways that matter.”

Remembering a camper’s sensory preference, noticing when a boisterous staffer is unusually quiet, following up on something someone mentioned in passing — these moments don’t take much time, but they last.

It’s important to remember that people can feel when your curiosity is genuine. Real connection isn’t about collecting stories or checking boxes. It’s about being present and seeing people not as subjects of our care, but as partners in community. Mutuality turns care into connection. It transforms belonging from something we give to something we build together. When relationships move in both directions, they nourish everyone involved.

Ask yourself: Are we creating space for relationships that move both ways, where everyone has the chance to be known and to know others?

Ways to make it real:

• For leaders — Build time into the day for people to check in, not just check boxes.
• For counselors and other staff — Take one minute to learn something new about someone each day. Then reflect it back.
• For campers — Create moments that help kids see and celebrate one another. Try quick pair-and-share prompts (“What’s something you’re proud of?”), a “compliment tag” where each camper passes a kind observation to the next, or a rotating “spotlight” where one camper picks the song or silly dance that starts the day. Use playful practices like art swaps or story chains that help kids notice one another’s strengths. Let belonging feel creative rather than performative.

5. Make Feedback a Culture Instead of a Checkbox

Belonging thrives in spaces where feedback isn’t a trap but a tool. That starts with trust. When someone speaks up and nothing changes (or worse, they get punished for it), it’s hard to risk honesty again. This leads to backfires and individuals learning to stay silent.

Feedback doesn’t have to mean long forms or end-of-session surveys. It can be simple, ongoing, and relational:

• What made you feel included today?
• What didn’t land right?
• What do you wish we had noticed sooner?

In my role at the Indiana Afterschool Network, I hold regular one-on-one meetings with my team, not just to check in on projects, but to create a space for two-way feedback, celebrating wins, and talking honestly about what’s working and what’s not. I learned this year through a Happy Boss’s Day card from my team that this culture matters. They feel seen, supported, and safe to speak up.

Ask yourself: What’s one piece of feedback we received recently that made us pause? What did we do with it?

Ways to Make It Real:

• For leaders — Don’t just ask for feedback; show how you used it. Name the change, and credit the voice.
• For counselors and other staff — Make mid-session check-ins a habit. People shouldn’t have to wait until the end to be heard.
• For campers — Use creative check-ins that let youth share in ways that feel right for them. Try art journals, a quick “Draw Your Day” moment, or question cards with prompts like “What’s something new you learned today?” You can also invite metaphors such as, “If your feelings were a backpack, what’s in it?” Or try a Feelings Forecast Wheel with simple moods they can point to.

Practice in Action — Tiered Belonging at Conner Prairie

At Conner Prairie’s Adventure Camp in Fishers, Indiana, belonging isn’t a buzzword. It’s a daily practice embedded in staff training, camper support, and culture building. As part of my consulting work with the Conner Prairie team, I developed guiding principles to anchor their camp culture: “Every counselor is an inclusive leader. Every camper is a story worth knowing. Every moment is a chance to build belonging.”

These principles shape how staff interact, how campers are supported, and how belonging shows up in everyday camp life. They also serve as the foundation for a tiered framework designed to make belonging both proactive and responsive in practice. This framework includes two roles that bring those principles to life:

Belonging Specialist — Focuses on proactive, culture-building work by:

• Coaching counselors to weave inclusion into daily routines
• Facilitating story sharing, reflection circles, and restorative practices
• Checking in with campers and staff who may be on the margins
• Inclusion Specialist — Responds when campers or staff need extra care by:
• Supporting youth or adults who experience dysregulation or overwhelm
• Offering regulation tools and calming strategies
• Helping campers and staff return to the group in ways that feel safe, respected, and supported

Together, these roles reflect a simple truth: belonging is not just about preventing harm. It is about planting the conditions for thriving.

Beyond Inclusion Toward Transformation

Belonging isn’t a one-time fix or a special initiative. It’s a culture — a daily invitation to show up, be seen, and shape the space together. As Maya Angelou wrote in All God’s Children Need Traveling Shoes (1986), “The ache for home lives in all of us. The safe place where we can go as we are and not be questioned.”

That’s the work. To create communities where youth and staff don’t have to shrink to fit in or trade authenticity for approval. Where being fully engaged means sharing what is comfortable and safe for the individual. It also means being respected for who you are. Because when people feel seen, safe, and valued, they grow. And so do we. Let’s make sure everyone who arrives at camp can look around and think: This place was built with someone like me in mind.

Additional Resources

Want to explore the research and frameworks behind this work? Check out these grounding resources:

• Uncovering Talent: A New Model of Inclusion, by Kenji Yoshino and Christie Smith, from the Leadership Center for Inclusion at Deloitte University — A foundational look at “covering” and why true inclusion affirms difference instead of asking people to hide it.
• lcld.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/06/Uncovering_Talent_Deloitte.pdf
• The Fearless Organization: Creating Psychological Safety in the Workplace for Learning, Innovation, and Growth, by Amy Edmondson. Psychological safety is key to trust and feedback. The research discussed in this book explains why people need to feel safe in order to grow.
• Developmental Relationships Framework from the Search Institute. Research-backed insights into how strong relationships create belonging — especially for youth.
• searchinstitute.org/developmental-relationships
• Lily Zheng’s FAIR Framework. A tool for evaluating equity work: Is it Feedback-informed, Action-oriented, Inclusive, and Results-driven? lilyzheng.co/resources/fair-framework

References

Angelou, M. (1986). All God’s children need traveling shoes. New York, NY: Random House.

Brown, B. (2017). Braving the wilderness: The quest for true belonging and the courage to stand alone. New York, NY: Random House.

Deloitte. (2023). Uncovering culture: A call to action for leaders. Deloitte LLP. ssrs.com/news/uncovering-culture-a-call-to-action-for-leaders

Edmondson, A. (2019). The fearless organization: Creating psychological safety in the workplace for learning, innovation, and growth. Hoboken, NJ: Wiley.

Goffman, E. (1963). Stigma: Notes on the management of spoiled identity. Upper Saddle River, NJ: Prentice Hall.

Hudson, W. (2023, March 5). Inaugural summit explores best practices for young men of color. The EDU Ledger. theeduledger.com/demographics/african-american/article/15352046/inaugural-summit-explores-best-practices-for-young-men-of-color

Search Institute. (n.d.). Developmental relationships framework. searchinstitute.org/developmental-relationships

Strayhorn, T. L. (2012). College students’ sense of belonging: A key to educational success for all students. New York, NY: Routledge.

Yoshino, K. (2006). Covering: The hidden assault on our civil rights. New York, NY: Random House.

Yoshino, K., & Smith, C. (2014). Uncovering talent: A new model of inclusion. Deloitte University Leadership Center for Inclusion. lcld.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/06/Uncovering_Talent_Deloitte.pdf

Zheng, L. (n.d.). The FAIR Framework. lilyzheng.co/resources/fair-framework

Timothy A. Raines, PhD, CDE, blends a scientist’s curiosity with an educator’s heart in his work as CEO and principal education consultant and coach of Dr. Tim Raines Consulting. LLC. He also serves as vice president of quality initiatives at the Indiana Afterschool Network, where he leads statewide efforts to elevate out-of-school time programs through innovation, practical supports, and research-informed strategy. With deep experience in higher education, youth development, and nonprofit leadership, Dr. Tim helps camps, schools, and organizations build cultures of equity, joy, and belonging. His guiding belief is simple: every child, family, community, and camp professional should feel seen, valued, and empowered to thrive.